I Need A Hera!
by LunaSilverDaughterOfAthena
Summary: Hera leaves for a vacation, and Zeus misses her. Him singing on live TV is the result. Parody of "Holding Out For a Hero" Crack-fic. One-shot (maybe two-shot if people want me to continue) Please R&R!


Don't own PJO, all rights go to Rick Riordan. Our dear friend that made Annabeth and Percy fall into Tartarus. ;(

Also don't own the song. Don't sue me!

"APOLLO, APOLLO LIGHTS!"

"APHRODITE, APHRODITE MAKE-UP!"

"ARTEMIS, ARTEMIS... I don't need you"

"We are on in five, four, three, two, one..." Hephaetus relayed, bored.

**Welcome to Hephaestus T.V, now broadcasting live freom Mount Olympus, Now presenting Zeus with " I need a Hera"**

"AKEM" Zeus said touching the microphone" Hello? Is this thing on?"

_**Where have all the good woman gone?**_

"We're right here, Zeus, eating Cereal" You can guess who said that

Zeus ignored them and continued to sing

**and where are all the goddesses?**

" WE'RE RIGHT HERE ZEUS!" they all shouted

**Where's the street wise HERAcles, to find the rise of Odds?  
**

**Isn't there a White knight? Upon a fiery steed? **

Athena looked up from her book, "Why do you need a white knight? Are you a damsel in distress?"

Ares shook his head, "You **are **reading too much of that King Arthur junk." **(A/N: No offsense) **

**Late at night, I toss and turn and dream of what I need **

Demeter looked up, "Cereal?" she said hopefully.

The others just mentally facepalmed, except for Hades, who actually hit his head against the wall.

**I need a Hera! I'm holding out for a Hera 'til the fall of Olympus. **

Again, Athena decided to interupt "I am sorry father, but have you not noticed that we have already defeated Kronos?"

Zeus payed her no heed, deciding to just continue the song.

**She's gotta be mean, and she's gotta be strict, and she's gotta be fairer than all!" **

Apollo stared at Zeus like he was crazy "That's completly wrong! Hera isn't fair! She only gave me two popsicles, WHEN ARTEMIS GOT 3! We don't need another she-monster." Apollo paused " I feel a haiku coming up!" Before any of the gods could protest, he started reciting like a mad man.

_"Hera is not fair_

_I am hotter than Hera _

_I am pure awesome" _

Artemis started crying out "My ears, they burn!'

**I need a Hera! I'm holding out for a Hera 'til the end of the night. **

Hermes simply stated "No I don't think you do."

**She's gotta be rude, and she's gotta be prideful, and she's gotta be more than two feet tall, more than two feet tall. **

Before Zeus could start humming, du dum da da dum ga gah ah, the door burst open, and Hera entred.

"My dear husband, would you care to explain the commercial that popped up on my TV advertising the fact that ZEUS NEEDED A NEW HERA!"

All the other Olympians slowly backed out of the room, careful not to make a sound.

Once safely out of the room, Apollo let out a sigh "I really do not want her on my case for what I said about her *gulp* being a she-monster."

Ten minutes later, Zeus staggered out of the studio-room that they'd filmed the commercial in with a face covered with red slap marks.  
Not only that, but his shirt was ripped to shreds, and if you looked closely enough, you could see bald spots in his already touseled hair where something, no SOMEONE had ripped the gray hairs from their roots.

After stepping a few feet, he droppedto the ground, where no one bothered to pick him up. After all, gods weren't known for their kindness.

Hera stepped out of the room that they were in before, looking pleased with herself, "Who's next?"

All the gods scattered, except for a certain god of the sun, who was listening to songs on his iPod.

Hera grinned, and grabbed Apollo, who's eyes opened in shock at what was happening.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

**A/N: Finished! Like it? Hate it? Review please! I probably will write a bonus chapter with the demigods of CHB. **

**Anyways, if people want me to, I will. **

**I also credit my friend . . for helping me write this. **


End file.
